Christmas Day & Cliches

It's the most wonderful time of the year....
Ok so anyone who knows me knows I'm a christmas nut! Christmas jumpers, songs, food, films ... Everything about it Ive always been the christmas queen in the house. And this year I didn't want to be any different! We'd decided as a family that we were not going to do presents, not only had none of us really had any time to go shopping but also the day shouldn't be about money and what's under the tree, it's about who's sat round you're dinner table. And talking about gifts, the greatest gift anyone could give me right now is health. However cliche that sounds.

A week on since the second chemo session and ive felt pretty horrific all week. Completely different feeling to the first session. Had a trip into A and E on Wednesday in excruciating pain again, saw the same friendly doc as before, lots of bloods, X-rays and drugs, and I was eventually discharged. So ive been doped up on lots of morphine and ive pretty much not moved off the sofa all week. All in all its been pretty crap lead up to the big day. 

It's nice having the brother home for a few days, not only did he come into hospital with me and mum on Wednesday, getting home at 5am after a trip via McDs for post-hospital munch fill up, but he's not allowed me to do anything in the hope that Id feel better by friday! Top big bro!

So the big day arrived today... A few wobbles and tears this morning, feeling like I was the reason why christmas was different this year, like Id ruined it for the family by being ill and not feeling great. Much assured by the family that neither was the case, the day went on with Christmas films and lunch cooking. To say I have lost my taste is a complete understatement, my entire mouth feels like it's been burnt to a crisp thanks to the chemo, and there's not a single taste bud left atm! So lunch was always going to be bit bland for me today! However it was beautifully cooked by Ant and we settled down for grub. Only for me to be vacating the table feeling very unwell half way through. To the sofa I returned, where I doped myself up again and fell asleep, whilst the family continued with pudding. 

All in all, even though I'm sat here this evening in my xmas pud leggings, elf slippers, penguin jumper and xmas tree bobblehat (the head gets bit cold nowadays!) its just not felt like christmas this year! 

However i wouldn't change this christmas for the world, family love is all that matters in life <3 and I may be a bit biased but my mum bro and gran are simply the best. Plus so far I've stayed out of St Mary's today!! Here's to the future, enjoy everything when you can, don't live with regret, don't make life about materialistic things, live each day, and tell people you love them whilst you can. Cliches at their best. Merry Christmas Xxx 

---